Adam Beilman is an AAE at SaatchiNY. For more info on his background and sports enthusiasm, be sure to follow him on Twitter @thebeils. He offers the most insightful commentary on The Buffalo Bills of anyone we know.
WHAT DO YOU DO AT SAATCHI & SAATCHI?
I’m an Assistant Account Executive on Head & Shoulders, but I suspect some people might think I’m still an intern …
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
I was a ride operator – specifically the Mind Eraser at Darien Lake Theme Park. Nobody ever died on my watch.
EDITORS NOTE: Here’s a picture of young Adam working said job -
WHAT LED YOU ON THE PATH YOU’RE ON TODAY?
I was a diehard basketball fan growing up, and would have asked mom to buy anything with Michael Jordan’s face on it. I recognized at a young age that advertising really worked when I felt the compulsive need to buy Gatorade. Shortly thereafter I realized advertising was also a real-life job you could have.
SECOND EDITORS NOTE: Here’s a picture of Adam standing in front of the famous Michael Jordan statue in Chicago -
WHAT ARE YOUR LOVEMARKS?
The Buffalo Bills, Guinness, Adidas, Ray-Ban, and yes, Gatorade
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE AD (ALL TIME OR CURRENTLY)?
There’s a common theme developing here:
IF YOU NEVER HAD TO WORK AGAIN, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO?
Start refining my (very unimpressive) golf game now to be ready for the PGA Senior Tour in 30 years.
FAVORITE PLACE YOU’VE BEEN TO?
I haven’t been that many cool places, and in fact have never lived anywhere outside of New York State. I’d like to visit every continent in my life. Except Antarctica. Screw penguins.
WHAT’S YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
Does my Twitter account (@TheBeils) count as a possession? Because I don’t know how I could live without it.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO?
“I wanna kiss you.”
WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU MAKE REALLY WELL?
Breakfast. I’m a terrible cook for the other meals, but I own a griddle, waffle iron, several frying pans and two toasters for the most important meal of the day.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE WARM-WEATHER NYC ACTIVITY?
Running down the Hudson through Riverside Park. It’s my backyard.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHTIME SPOT NEAR THE OFFICE?
Dos Toros – but I’m usually too lazy to walk there and end up at Chipotle.
WHAT’S YOUR GO TO KARAOKE SONG? (COME ON, WE KNOW YOU HAVE ONE).
I have a paralyzing fear of singing in public. That being said, if I had to do Karaoke, I’d go with an awkwardly self-censored version of some Biggie song, as I know all the words to several.
WHAT’S THE BEST MEAL YOU’VE EVER HAD?
Despite roots that are nowhere near Italian, my mom makes really great meatballs. My cousins started calling them “Auntie Balls,” and the name stuck.
IF YOU COULD BE THE WORLD RECORD HOLDER OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I’d like to go around the world in 79 days. That would be a record, right?
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CREATIVE PURSUIT?
Naming fantasy and rec-league sports teams. Past entries include:
- We Fancy Huh?
- The Mexicutioners
- Jim Boeheimian Rhapsody
- Morning Norwood
- Ray Rice Guys Finish Last (an ESPN award winning name…not kidding)
WHAT BLOGS/MAGAZINES/BOOKS/PAPERS/WEBSITES CAN YOU NOT LIVE WITHOUT?
I’m a really big fan of Chuck Klosterman. “Eating the Dinosaur” is great, but so is everything he writes for my new favorite blog, Grantland.com.
WHAT’S THE LAST GREAT EVENT YOU WENT TO?
I saw “The Book of Mormon” a couple months ago. I’m not sure what a Tony is, but it should have won all of them.
WHAT’S THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU’VE EVER RECEIVED?
I was a shy kid, and my dad always reminded me that “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Now, I’m really good at complaining.
WHAT’S YOUR GREATEST NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE STORY?
I once won a spelling bee by correctly spelling sarsaparilla. It’s root beer-like drink commonly found in the Southwest and in Central America. It’s pronounced sas-pah-rill-a.


