Archive for the ‘Awkward Interns’ Category

Awkward Interns: Party Foul

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

This is why you don't tweet from the club

Since tomorrow is the last day for our Saatchi Interns, this marks the conclusion of our Awkward Interns Series. Special thanks to Meredith Savatsky for doing such a great job fielding the deluge of submissions by interns from around the city. Our final post comes from a one of our NY anonymous submitters who nearly experienced a major social media party foul.

The Facts:
Living in the city is glamorous… and Interns want all of their Facebook friends and Twitter followers to know that they get to experience it. But those overly-excited tweets and status updates make interns seem less like NYC natives, and more like NYC wannabes.

What happened:
Jane and some friends were “pre-gaming” for a night out on the town. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the pre-game, it’s when you meet at a friend’s apartment to drink cheap alcohol before going to the bars to save on absurdly expensive drinks in actual bars (insert judgements here).

Having had too much to drink, Jane and her friends had one of those “I’M-GOING-TO-SING-ALONG-TO-Z100-AND-I-DON’T-CARE-WHO-HEARS-ME-BECAUSE-I-LOVE-MY-LADIEZ!” cab rides to the bar (poor taxi driver). In between the chorus and bridge of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”, Jane tweeted from her iPhone: “On my way to the Chelsea Room with my girls @bestie#1 and @bestie#2! LET’S GO GIRL LOVIN’ LIFE RIGHT NOW”.

Cringe.

As if this wasn’t bad enough to have tweeted from her own Twitter handle, Jane accidentally tweeted it from her agency account, which she was graciously given the privilege to contribute to for the summer. A few minutes later she received a text from none other than her summer supervisor.

Supervisor: “Are you at Chelsea Room?”

Jane: “OMG YES! ARE YOU!? DO YOU SEE ME??”

Supervisor: “No, but you did just drunk tweet from the agency feed.”

Double-cringe.

Thankfully it was late in the night (IE: early in the morning) and the tweet was deleted without too much hubbub.

Lesson: If you’re managing social media for someone else, always DOUBLE check the Tweet Deck.

Category: Awkward Interns

Awkward Interns: The Secret Door

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

trapped in a staircase . . .

This week’s Awkward Interns story is being submitted by a supervisor, unbeknownst to Jane Intern… sorry Jane.

As you may know, Saatchi NY has it’s very own rooftop garden: RTG:375. It’s a sun-filled refuge where you can get some work done and eat fresh strawberries or munch on banana peppers (whatever your preference) all with the most exquisite view in the city (yes, we are biased).

THE SECRET DOOR
What some people may not know is that there was a secret exit, allowing those in the know to go between the office and the garden sans-keycard.  This secret stairwell has been in use for months without mishap… until last week.

Jane Intern was on the roof, watering the garden and harvesting some fresh veggies to bring home for dinner later that night. (After all, it’s vital to keep up your health while interning, right?)  With an abundance of tomatoes, peppers and eggplants in hand, Jane slipped through the heavy “secret” door and into the stairwell she’d descended at least 50 times already this summer without event.  Arriving on her floor of destination, she turned the handle  and . . . nothing.  She hesitated, looked around, tried again.  Still nothing.  Her heart sank.  Somehow, for the first time ever, the door had been locked.

DOWN AND DOWN AND DOWN
Running back upstairs she tried the roof door she’d just come from.  Also locked.  Taking a deep breath and heading back down on 18, Jane knocked loudly — surely someone would walk by soon, right?  After about 10 minutes of knocking and yelling, she panicked. She hadn’t brought her phone. Would she be stuck here for hours?  Would she have to walk down the 18 flights of stairs to the ground floor? Would that exit set off an alarm and force evacuation of the entire building? What would her supervisor think after she’d disappeared for hours?

She decided to try the door on the next floor down. Another locked door, another 5 minutes of banging and calling for help.  Nothing.  Jane repeated this on the 16th floor, then the 15th, getting more and more anxious the lower she went.

ESCAPE
Finally she came to her fifth floor of attempted escape – a floor, might we add, that  she’d never been on, one that she had heard was under construction Lo and behold, after 30 minutes  of gut wrenching panic, this  door opened.  Walking onto the dusty floor (vegetables still in hand), she ignored the confused stares from the construction workers and marched forward, head held high, to the elevator bank… as if having a young woman exit the fire stairwell in the middle of a construction zone carrying an arm full of tomatoes was an everyday occurrence.  Total. Everyday. Occurrence.

THE LESSON
Safely in the elevator and heading back up to the 17th floor, Jane finally let herself breathe a sigh of relief.  She reported back to her supervisor (who was moved to share this story with the world) who rewarded her tale with gales of laughter and two lessons:

1) never assume things are going to be as they always have been, and

2) always, always bring your cell phone.

Category: Awkward Interns

Awkward Interns: The Presentation

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story.

As interns, we really want our supervisors to like us. We wouldn’t go so far as to call it sucking up … but we are nicer to them than other people, so take that as you will.

Example #1: You tell her that those heels she’s wearing are so cute and her legs look miles long. You absolutely need to know where she bought them.

Example #2 – That joke he just told is so funny. You are laughing so hard and tell him that he should be a comedian. That joke is your Facebook status, your latest tweet, and was email blasted to your advertising club’s list serve.

This week’s awkward intern story is about the opposite of these scenarios.

THE PRESENTATION
Last week Jane found herself in the middle of a presentation to her supervisor and team. Things were going well. She was on script, people seemed to be following her logic, and she was a few minutes away from being home free. Following her notes, she started talking about a competitive brand’s creative work as an example of what not to do.

As she tore apart the aforementioned campaign campaign (“literally, the worst campaign I have ever seen.”  “My grandma could write a better commercial than that” and so on), she noticed a fellow intern motioning frantically from the front row. Then she noticed the scowl on her supervisors face. Not knowing exactly what was going wrong, she tried to finish her thought, only to be stopped mid-sentence by the supervisor and asked tersely to “move on to the next point.”

Nothing more was said until after the meeting, when she was her fellow intern informed at her that their supervisor had created that very campaign while working at her previous job. Yikes.

THE LESSON
Know you supervisor’s work history. If you don’t, at least pay close attention to the visual cues and body language of coworkers.

Authors note: During a recent conversation with the Miller Team, it came to my attention that in a recent post I incorrectly mentioned an interns work experience included “working in high pressure environment dodging soccer balls to the head kicked by men on Miller Team.”  As it turns out, they’re typical routine is actually flicking bottle caps that interns must dodge. My apologies for any upset this may have caused the team.

Category: Awkward Interns

The Awkward Interns: Love in an Elevator

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Top five most awkward elevator stories of all time.

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story.

THE TASK
John was tasked with moving two 8ft x 4ft foam-core boards to a conference room two floors up. The catch, they needed to get there in time for a meeting starting in 10 minutes. His boss told him “make sure everything stays attached, and carry them so they’re facing one another. The information is confidential, and we don’t want anyone to see what’s on them.”

THE BACKGROUND
John had made some rookie mistakes in the last few days (i.e. forgot to attach important documents in an email to a client, included the wrong call-in number on a meeting invitation, etc.) and was looking to prove to his boss that he was, in fact, capable. If John were to have the conference room all set up and ready before his boss arrived to the meeting, surely that would win some brownie points.

INTO THE ELEVATOR
The simplest way to get the boards to the conference room would be using the stairs, but that would take minutes and (also) potentially make him look ridiculous bumbling the colossal boards under his arms. So, despite it being a bit more complex, he decided that taking the elevator was the smartest option.

John managed to enter the elevator easily (step one, check). BUT, during the 15 second ride up, John repositioned the board’s to keep them steady, which turned out to be a fatal move. When the doors opened, the boards edges caught on the door, forcing him attempt countless was to solve a big-as-life-stuck-in-an-elevator-with important-visual-aides jigsaw puzzle.

As he mentally revisited 7th grade geometry for solutions, then attempted to forcibly push/pull/tug/yank the boards in every which direction, a large group of employees had crowded the vestibule. And because his car was being held up, the elevator system wouldn’t allow another car to arrive at that same story.

ALARM BELLS RING
As the patience of the employees began to wane, apparently so did the elevator’s. The emergency alarm began to blare, and the doors began to repeatedly (and aggressively) open and close. Deciding it was time to compromise the confidentiality of the boards, John separated the boards and finally managed to pull them out. As he hurriedly left the elevator, John yelled “TURN AROUND AND CLOSE YOUR EYES” to prevent the crowd from seeing the content on the boards (and his face in detail).

In the end, John managed to set up the conference room before his boss arrived. BUT, when his boss entered, his eyes glanced over the perfectly set-up boards and rested on John, who was panting and damp with sweat. “Jeez John. You look like you just came from the gym. Look more professional next time.”

THE LESSON:KISSI
Keep it simple stupid intern

Category: Awkward Interns

The Awkward Interns: The CEO

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

There's nothing quite like insulting your CEO in a room full of people

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story.

FACT: Interns don’t typically find themselves in meetings with C-Suite level people. When they DO, it’s almost always better to be seen and not heard. This week’s awkward intern submission is a perfect example of why.

THE CEO
During Jane’s internship a few years back, she found herself in semi-regular meetings with the CEO of her company. This CEO also happened to be a rather large man (this detail will become important in a minute). And despite their gap in status the pair managed to develop a relatively friendly relationship over the summer, smiling and nodding when passing one another in the hall. Mid-way through her stay at the agency, the CEO in question was struck down with pneumonia and missed a solid two weeks of work.

Upon his return, Jane noted that the CEO had not just lost a significant amount of weight, but generally looked like a new person. There was speculation around the office that he might have even been off at a weight-loss retreat.

INSERT FOOT IN MOUTH HERE
During her first meeting back with the boss, someone mentioned to him how great he looked. Jane was sitting next to the CEO when the comment was made, but for some reason thought it prudent to lean to the person on her opposite side and whisper – “pneumonia was a great diet.” Granted, that momentary lapse in judgement is bad enough. The problem? She accidentally made the statement at a volume heard by the entire room. And because she panicked as she started speaking, she also replaced the word pneumonia with diabetes. The end result was an awkwardly loud show stopper – “I hear Diabetes is a great diet.”

THE OUTCOME
There was no fixing it. He’d definitely heard her. She couldn’t explain it away, and all she could think to do was stare like a deer in headlights, laughing nervously. His face was frozen in a smile from the previous compliment, and he only allowed the slightest recognition of her remark to show . . . but it was definitely there.

Maybe he was happy people had noticed the weight loss. Maybe he took pity on her because of some long-ago awkward intern moment of his own. But in the coming days Jane waited for the axe to fall . . . but it never did. The moment was never spoken of again, but that second of dead air still lasts a million minutes in her memory. Think before you speak people. THINK!

Category: Awkward Interns, New York

Awkward Interns: The Thief

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Supply store raid!

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story.

 

FACT: Interns avoid breaking rules because if we get fired, our chances of getting a real job after graduation suck.

I mean, what would our resumes look like after such a brief stint as an intern?

Work Experience
Advertising Agency, Intern                                                 June 10 2011- June 23 2011
- Improved patience through holding on the line with IT
- Experienced working in high pressure environment dodging soccer balls to the head kicked by men on Miller Team
- Improved sense of urgency after watching reactions to announcements of free food

References not available upon request.

Doesn’t exactly instill confidence in your employability, does it?

Our intern, Jane, accidentally broke the rules (accidentally, of course!). Luckily, she was spared and consequently, may continue to fill her resume with more valuable experience.

THE CRIME STORY
Last week Jane was tasked with bringing back office supplies from the supply room (what’s the deal with interns and supply-related awkward stories this year?). When she arrived, no one working at the desk. Since she was in a rush, she walked around the desk and started browsing the shelves for what her boss had requested.

Once behind the blockade, we’re not going to lie, she got a little carried away, pulling (mostly unnecessary) supplies from the shelves. It wasn’t exactly like going to Staples, there were no shopping carts or hand baskets, and the supplies subsequently piled up in Jane’s arms until pens and ink cartidges were literally cascading out of the pile and onto the floor. This was how she got busted. When the the supply room attendant finally returned to her post from lunch, she curiously followed the trail of staples, pens, and Post-Its though the aisles until she ran into Jane.

The woman (not expecting anyone to be in the supply room) screamed. Jane (not expecting someone to scream in the supply room) instinctively threw up her arms. Office supplies flew, a mess was made, and the woman. was. FURIOUS.

BUSTED
For the next 15 minutes, Jane was accused of theft and lectured about the proper procedure to follow in the supply room. When the woman was finally finished reprimanding the intern, she asked what Jane’s name was. She gave the woman her supervisor’s name.

THE VERDICT:
Though guilty on two counts of theft – Office supply and identity – this weeks intern does get credit for going the extra mile to complete a brief . . .  run-ins with the law be damned.
Yikes.

Category: Awkward Interns, New York

The Awkward Interns: Smelly Lunch

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story. Below is our second story in the Awkward Intern series. [Editor’s note: all of our awkward interns will be referred to as John or Jane, gender dependent]

Fact: it’s especially hard for interns to bring a packed lunch to work. The small apartments or dorm rooms we call home for the summer aren’t exactly “kitchen” friendly. In total honesty, our limited fridge space to stock cold beer and our limited cabinet space is often used to stock warm beer. Yes, our nutritional priorities are skewed. But so are America’s.

Result: we buy our lunches. We also look to spend the least amount of money doing so. Unfortunately, in some occasions, you really get what you pay for.

THE SET-UP
This story is about John, who recently bought lunch from a Mexican food truck. $4 beef tacos to be exact. But what he saved in cash, the office paid for in stank.

Upon returning to his desk, tacos in hand, he opened the Styrofoam container, unleashing one of the worst smells I’ve ever encountered. Here are three scenarios comparable to this smell:

  • The woman on the airplane who unpacks a warm egg salad sandwich from her purse and then leaves the cellophane, coated in yellow mayonnaise, in a ball on the tray table.
  • Coming back from a long weekend, opening your fridge and discovering week-old Chinese leftovers inside. And not the steamed chicken with vegetables in a brown sauce. More like Lucky Kitchen’s pork fried rice and spare ribs.
  • The man on the subway whose sweaty armpit your head is pressed against during your commute home in the summer.

Now multiply these experiences by tuna fish and a porta-potty. That puts you in the ballpark of the smell we’re talking here. It was so bad that I (John’s office neighbor) left in search of fresh air. When I came back Joe was gone, and stayed gone for nearly half an hour. Why was he gone for so long, you ask?

CAUGHT IN THE ACT
Realizing his mistake in buying such a stinky lunch, John went into the bathroom to throw out the food in the garbage. When he was about to leave the bathroom, a man from inside a stall yelled “Jeez! What is that smell?!” To make matters worse, the voice was coming from his supervisor. Trying to save face, John quickly reached back into the trashcan and retrieved the Styrofoam box.

ON THE RUN
He THEN walked around the office, garbage in hand, looking for somewhere discreet to dispose of it. Everywhere he walked people turned their heads, made faces, or audibly asked what smelled so awful. He was finally left with no choice but to leave the building to find a trashcan outside . . . three blocks from the building on.

Category: Awkward Interns, New York

The Awkward Interns: Week 1

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Let the awkward begin

Awkward Interns is an ongoing summer series featuring the funniest (and most uncomfortable) intern-related stories from the world of advertising. Are you an intern with a story? We want to hear about it! Are you a seasoned veteran who STILL cringes at something that happened during your first summer and advertising? We’d love to hear that too! All entries are anonymous and welcome. All you have to do is email us your story.

‘Tis the season… Intern Season! This time of year in NYC is generally characterized by long days, high temperatures, and an influx of eager, yet clueless, college students from around the country. Here’s a sampling of differences between the intern and the non-intern:

The Intern: During happy hour you will find us at McFadden’s, Off the Wagon, Three Sheets Saloon, or Dorian’s. We arrive in the atrium at 3:59pm for Thirsty Thursday. We go to Johnny Utah’s… and ride the bull. We like Time Square. We turn up the volume on the mini televisions in taxis. We want to see the Lion King on Broadway. We attempt to hail off-duty cabs.

The Non-Intern: You consider a $4 beer cheap. You don’t accidentally get on the subway going to the Bronx… only realizing your mistake in the Bronx. You don’t take pictures in black and white to let your Facebook friends know that you live in “the city”. Your black, thick-rimmed glasses are actually prescription. You leave the city on the weekends.

Even though we decisively fall into the first category, we do our best to avoid excessive attention in the workplace. We prefer to blend in, but our ongoing attempt to remove the imaginary “INTERN” sign taped to our backs often leads to us avoid asking important, fundamental questions. This week’s submission arises from said attempts.

[Editor’s note: all of our awkward interns will be referred to as John or Jane, gender dependent]

THE TRAPPED INTERN/ FRIDAY, JUNE 10
At the end of her second week on the job, Jane set out to the agency supply room, after voluntarily not asking for directions. Unfortunately, her sense of direction wasn’t as strong as hoped and, after a wrong turn or two, she found herself trapped in the vestibule behind the glass doors of Saatchi Wellness. No swipe pad in sight, she was stuck. Real world Jane (the one WITHOUT the intern label hanging over her head) would have called for help. But Jane (the intern) didn’t want to call attention to herself in the given circumstances.  Instead, she stood there … for 10 minutes … staring through the glass wall. After failing to summon a hidden teleportation ability, she gave serious thought to throwing her shoe through the glass.

After careful internal debate she finally realized that by placing her ID card near the swipe pad located on the other side of the entrapping doors, she could activate the door without breaking the aforementioned door. She was gone so long that she returned to her desk without the requested supplies . . . defeating the purpose of the entire mission.

Lesson: You’re swipe card is always your first solution. Another of our interns informs us that he keeps his ID in his back pocket at all times. This allows him to both turn heads and open doors, completely hands free.

Category: Awkward Interns, New York